The Desire for Female Approval: A Reflection of Inner Lack

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From an evolutionary standpoint, the desire for female approval and adoration is deeply ingrained in men. As social creatures, humans crave connection and affirmation from others, and for many men, the admiration of a woman can be a key source of validation. However, some psychologists argue that this desire reflects an inner lack or a physiological insufficiency.

Raymond Peat, PhD, compares the craving for female approval to that of a cigarette for a former smoker. He posits that the availability of something that promises to partially restore the desired stability is what triggers the craving, rather than the presence of the substance itself. In other words, the inherent desire for women’s love may reflect a psychological lack, rather than a biological one.

Chronic metabolic inefficiency can contribute to this psychological lack. From childhood, the body is exposed to a variety of toxins and environmental stressors that can lead to inflammation and other health issues. As a result, individuals may retreat into a safe space of collective identities, such as race, gender, or culture, that insulate them from the energetic demands of their environment.

While this retreat may offer some respite from external pressures, it can also inhibit sexual and creative actualization, limiting individual potential. In hypothyroidism, for example, the body lowers its temperature as an adaptive measure to reduce oxygen requirements and secure the organism’s structure. This degenerated function lowers the demand for energy and guarantees survival but also inhibits sexual and creative actualization, as the body conserves energy for survival rather than growth and development.

Romance can offer a temporary escape from these limitations, as it rejects reality with fantasy. However, this can lead to a deeper sense of inadequacy and insecurity, as individuals become disconnected from their authentic selves. The biblical creation story in the Garden of Eden offers a coherent narrative of human sexuality, emphasizing the importance of wholeness and complementarity. Adam and Eve possess both masculine and feminine natures, which complement one another, and their sexuality is depicted as idealized and devoid of insecurity.

However, the serpent’s temptation of Eve to eat from the forbidden tree represents a departure from this idealized state. The serpent’s offer of intelligence and future sight through the fruit represents a temptation to become like God, and Eve’s decision to eat from the tree reflects a desire for knowledge and power that is disconnected from her authentic self.

In conclusion, the desire for female approval may reflect an inner lack or physiological insufficiency that stems from chronic metabolic inefficiency and environmental stressors. While romance can offer a temporary escape from these limitations, it can also perpetuate a sense of disconnection from one’s authentic self. Instead, the biblical narrative of Adam and Eve emphasizes the importance of complementarity and wholeness in human sexuality, offering a more authentic and fulfilling path to self-actualization.






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